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adrima84 @ 2010-11-29T17:31:00

Today was so time, the point where I had to ask me how stupid I was the last years. How far
has driven me something I like to have someone focus and energy to have any - to show that person that I want them. All what he does and I will try to iron out falscht in any way want to help and advice to stand aside.
All this seems so wrong now. My life has interested him in any way, yet it has consumed me in a way that I just today only be described as disgusting. So often I see myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown and transform always just ask me I only wanted to:
do you tell me how you have not even set up your apartment? How did it go today in the work? Can you imagine watching this film today?
Simple, non-moving issues. Just questions where I notice it is a little bit back from the friendship. That to me also shows that it is perfectly fine if I can not control myself. It is understood that certain things I never, never hear not. The
you to consideration for.


I am ashamed I still for the time I made this pillow.
stupid so and so naive I was.
But in fact, should the be so in any way. I have considered it as well. As justified. At the time I was so sure that it is absolutely good.

And now I need to ask me the realization that I am a person who sees people as friends that are just offensive. I have good memories of my better days and it still is so.
But rather I believe that this is only a wish. No one is more like I got to know them. None. Really none.
And that's what makes me good at the moment so ready.
All that I want to close this Personal one and the same time I will not have me. Then they are there, intentionally or by accident and it happens.
And again and again.


alone when I think about who has everything, this pillow well somehow in the arm. One well with what was so important at the time and what is only a product or a memorial of my own naive stupidity today.

I would like to undo it but I will probably only the one choice - of learning from it.

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adrima84 @ 2010-11-18T21:18:00

I forgot to blog here. Sorry. Actually I had before the
that is my own private corner here, but I am like so often switched to other systems.
Twitter, Facebook Tumbrl. Before, I could not do anything with - but now I see her happy. Now that I
but the (few) old-line reading here .. I feel almost obligated here again a little bit to write.



I was not long for the lawyer. After about one month had to or I quit. The experienced by the travel agency before there was really anywhere for me. I was constantly overwhelmed, new things made me afraid and did not seem to cope. Often I'm sitting alone in the office and did not think about running away from a car just so I am just the situation could escape.
my parents, I have not then I told had terminated. I then in the senseless courses from the Employment Service gone.
has then it is by chance, the result in my site someone was looking for the congregation office. However, limited.
I applied even though I basically had no desire to return to my energy into something that was anyway stopped after 7 months already. I applied to be rejected in the hope and was then taken ironically.
of current knowledge I would say that was only because of the distance. only three minutes are up I'm at work.

And in two weeks is it then everything stops again. Although the woman said to me the mayor, "We will end the year, who need" threw me for time already clear that this can only be a lie. Has indeed true that it is not so.

However - I have ventured to apply to me at another church and also at the beginning when I was over confident - at least I could attach a letter of recommendation - I am now facing is that its a zero number. How should it ended differently if 32 people apply.


home, I'm not 100% happy but satisfied. My depression can be not so often look as before. With the heart I have, fortunately, only very rarely problems. I even after years of struggling to consult a doctor of me is finally dressing cosmetically correct.

Otherwise, there is mention only that I have many friends here simply given up on the web. Some of them appeared to me to speculators or wrong. The handful of people that I have remained so, but really people I would like to press in person.

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